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Though it will eventually evolve/devolve into other things, this is a journal documenting withdrawal from the prescription anti-depressent Zoloft, and my attempts to use constructive magical thinking as a means of combating depressive behaviors. I've taken the medication for just over a year for control of obsessive behaviors and periodic feelings of depression. This medication has been an off and on fixture in my life since I turned 19 (I'm 27 now), and my growing disenchantment with western medicine has finally convinced me that I need to detox once and for all. The constant consumption of this shit medication has left me unable to produce seratonin on my own, so I'm in the midst of a chemical hangover. Now I'm more interested in taking a Jungian approach to my personal psychology. I think that this constant return to bouts of depression in between medication is a sign that my psyche is trying to tell me something - or, is trying to experience some kind of crisis so that I can mature and enter a higher level of spiritual/emotional development.

I decided to make this a journal for the sake of educating the masses about what this process is like, and to (potentially) give myself some support. A lot of people have suffered pretty severe withdrawal symptoms from these sorts of medications, and I know from prior experience that it can be more than a little unbearable. In the past, going off medication has caused me to squander opportunity, lose jobs, end relationships, and generally fuck up a whole lot. With any luck, this journal function as tool and anchor.

I'm also a strong believer in the potency of Shamanism, so expect reference to Spider Woman, Loki, Coyote, Eris, Athena, the three Zorya, God in the great big capitalized sense, etc.

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